Interview: Madame V Is A Teenage Dominatrix…

*Published on Femme Heroine. Click on Link to read the article. Thank you.

Lakshmi x

 

For Madame V* following criteria has never been a convention she wished to follow. At least not for her career. At 19 years of age Madame V works as an Independent Dominatrix across Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide and it’s the best decision she has made yet. Together, Madame V and I discuss and dispel about the type of domination the world seems to detest. Female Domination in the S&M Industry.

Lakshmi Krishnan

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“The essence of being a Dominatrix is that it is part therapy, part service and part theatre -Madame V

When you first hear the term ‘dominant woman’ you’re probably all fireworks on the inside, applauding any notion of a strong, kick ass lady. It would never occur to you that to be a ‘dominant woman’ in the S&M industry in fact a fully-fledged career. This woman is the Dominatrix. I was lucky enough to nab an extensive interview with one of Australia’s youngest Independent Dominatrix’s, Madame V, men-savvy and ready to delve into the makings of a Dominatrix.

LK: Madame V, I’m curious to know who you are and what has driven you to work in the S&M Industry at 19 years of age?

MV: Domination was a mistake, turned passion, career and ‘calling’. Essentially.

It would be highly risky to dive into my personal life as I’m still very young so I probably won’t talk about that stuff. Madame V is my other half. I should probably start by mentioning that I have subtle Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Depression and I’ll honestly admit that it has reached the peak of its severity a few times. I hope it’s alright if I don’t go into my mental issues because it’s tiring and nothing good came out of it.

What you should understand is that in some states of BPD the lines between reality and fantasy are often blurred rendering myself to quite a wreck less and self-destructive nature. I begin to embody qualities of others, both real and fictitious. I sink into a depression and hide myself away, I’m nothing no one wants to deal or associate with and suddenly I’ve lost myself. That’s nothing ANYONE should have to go through. It’s not cool or fun or a stint of acting, which it often can be mistaken for and it’s a strong reason why I CHOOSE to dominate. To help me live my fantasy and have it become real just for those few hours, it helps me. It’s my form of liberation. Domination is my therapy.

LK: Wow. That must be insanely traumatic to go through but it’s lead to something quite unique, right? You feel like you’re two different people. I’m just curious to know how you transform yourself into the Dominatrix, like psychologically?

MV: I felt like my personality was that of two different beings. One of which is Madame V. My observant, seductive and enigmatic other half. She births power, understanding and kink when morphing into the Dominatrix.

Madame V’s mantra is taken right out of the mouth of Bukowski; “She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed you to suffer for it.”.

LK: Tell me more about the Dominatrix. Who is she and what does she do?

MV: A dominatrix is either;

  • a woman professionally paid and trained to hold power over her submissive subject (usually a man) inflicting physical and/or psychological pain, seduction and  sexual starvation in the form of kinks.
  • a woman who chooses to play the dominate in her personal and sexual life.

Although many Dominatrix’s encompass both, I’m pretty much referring to Domination as a profession in the adult industry.

LK: Awesome. I really wanted to break some of the fallacies of what the society ‘deems’ a Dominatrix to be, because I know the Porn Industry and the Media have a habit of stigmatizing a lot of what we know about Dominatrix’s and the S&M world to be about. I have inklings that, that’s not true. Right?

MV: The essence of being a Dominatrix is that it is part therapy, past service and part theatre. 

Professional dominatrix’s do NOT have sex with their clients, nor do they strip nor perform naked. This is especially prevalent amongst Domina’s who work in esteemed BDSM households. The only instances where this would occur are with full-service Dominatrix’s who choose to engage in sexual intercourse with their clients. You’re right, the rest is a fallacy fabricated by the porn industry and the media which on occasion tends to be stigmatized by the ’50 Shades’ Franchise.

 Dominatrix’s are NOT porn stars and I’d like to emphasis that although Dominatrix’s do work in the adult industry and are by law are classified as sex workers, what we do for a living stretches far beyond mere sex work. What I will admit is that Dominatrix’s are provocateurs, and our session run off kinks to sexually arouse the submissive client.

LK: So why is it that you would choose to be part of such a ‘turbulent’ profession?

MV: The reason why I do this is because I understand shame and pain. Or at least want too. Somewhere in my ‘possibly’ twisted mind I believe that people who are NOT into what is normal or ‘acceptable’ should NOT feel ashamed of their kinks. However, they clearly are and I’m willing to help and guide them into maintaining both their ordinary lives and their fetishes in a healthy and safe way. That’s a big reason why I do this.

LK: What have you learnt about S&M practices in your time?

MV: I’ve learnt more about myself than I ever have before. On a personal level, it’s made me more patient and observant, I’m less self-absorbed you know. I’m dealing with someone who has sought out an adult service to be relived of whatever burden he is carrying and I really do just want to help and play the ‘kink doctor’ because not many people are willing to do that. So, I will.

When I first began conducting sessions with my clients I quickly discovered that men’s kinky desires had been streamlined into just sex and wanting to get off to a dominant woman when that was NOT the case. It was more to do with giving clients psychological and physical gratification and the release of a lot emotional pressure’s existing in their work and personal lives. I’m learning and reading a lot about sexual psychology, Discipline Therapy and why some feel the need to relive pain with pain. It’s all very interesting but tragic. In an ideal world, these desires would not exist I guess.

LK: So …I know off hard limits and safe words which neither you or the client cannot breach. What do you specialize in and do you have any hard limits? Can you tell me your safe word, or is it a secret?

MV: Oh god. That’s a loaded question, but it’s great that you know about it. Physically my sessions range from soft core to medium. Psychologically, I go hardcore. I’m a masochist and a femme fatale so my specialties lie in; Corporal Punishment (spanking, whipping, flogging etc.), Erotic Domination and Intricate Role Play, Puppy Play, Slave Training, Golden Shower, Body Worship, Verbal Humiliation, Sensory Deprivation, Asphyxiation Play and Bondage.

As for Hard Limits, I don’t do piercings, blood play, ball busting, wrestling, medical play, scat and extreme CBT. And yes, my safe word is a secret. Sorry, but it does change frequently. I use only one with all my clients, unless they suggest otherwise.

LK: What is the procedure for a client to see a Dominatrix such as yourself?

MV: I started with my clients through word of mouth. When a client shows interest in my services and guidance I send a standard ‘tantalizing’ email outlining my specialties, hard limits, prices, expectations, events I shall be attending and times for consultations and sessions and address’. I travel quite a bit around Australia, so it’s important that I can take ‘advantage’ of certain clients when I’m in a certain place.

If the client is interested, I prepare a consultation at a neutral location to discuss the client’s fetishes, ensure their hard limits, what they want to get out of the session, the headspace they’d want to achieve and discuss safe words.

 I also request medical certificate. I have a First Aid Certificate but I need to be aware of any health conditions so I can prepare sessions accordingly. When you are immersed in a session, your body chemistry can change of blood pressure, adrenaline rush, endorphin release etc. On first sessions clients get nervous and panicky, so I also suggest getting a lot of sleep, eating well and staying hydrated, otherwise clients run the risk of passing out. I want this to be enjoyable for the both of us.

LK: I have some final questions. Just the last few, I swear. You mentioned price rates. What are your price rates?

MV: Well the case if slightly different for me. As I’m 19, quite young and concurrently training, I do earn less , being a standing price of $150/per hour. However, Dominatrix’s usually earn $350/ per hour, at the bare minimum. Usually more.

LK: How the actual session is laid out. What happens afterwards?

MV: Sessions run for a minimum of 2 hours. Mine range usually around 3 hours. I arrange for my client to dress up or strip down as he wishes to start off and wait for me in the room. I work from a dungeon. It’s only until I enter the room that I play the role of God, and only my word is the one that matters. Afterwards, my clients usually need to decompress. I recommend a shower. Directly after we have the ‘post session’. This usually goes on for an hour. It’s necessary to ensure that my clients are fully recovered from the session, and we talk about our experiences and headspace during and after the session. They say communication is key.

As I said, my interview with Madame V was quite extensive, exhilarating and important. I wanted to break stereotypes and I did. Madame V’s justification for entering the S&M Industry was one that did NOT disappoint. Sometimes it takes one to be in pain, to heal someone else’s pain, perhaps using some ‘unconventional’ methods that are still safe. A Dominatrix is a professional career garnered with women who are hell bent on trying to understand the ‘tortured soul’. For those close minded, I wrote this for you. This is just one story that I know exudes pain and empathy, not some shameful career that involves just sex and kinks.

*DISCLAIMER: This piece details the experiences of Madame V ONLY, unless expressed otherwise. There is much about the S&M Industry she chooses not to discuss and foremost, by choosing to write about BDSM we force nothing upon anyone readers but a mere understanding of why women CHOOSE to enter the S&M Industry, after all Dominatrix’s exist for a reason. Madame V has chosen to withhold  personal detail and photos for privacy issues.

 

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